


Seeds

by AFancyFawn



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A moderate amount of angst, A ridiculous amount of run-ons, M/M, Maybe a little more angst, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi Friendship, Tsukishima pines, Yamaguchi Cusses, everybody's gay, i don't make the rules
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:55:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26600245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AFancyFawn/pseuds/AFancyFawn
Summary: Soulmate AU where everybody gets a soulmate, except Tsukki, because fuck that guy.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 45
Kudos: 241





	1. Growth

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I haven't written anything in almost 20 years and I've never written fanfiction before so please be gentle.

Tsukishima Kei was five years old when he first noticed how different he was from the other children. It happened in class one day a group of kids were giggling over a boy and girl who were blushing furiously while showing off the identical sprouts appearing on their hands. Where had been just small flecks of a seed at the beginning of the school year was now a small germinating seedling, roots breaking forth and reaching down the cotyledons just starting to push from the seed coat. Up close Kei could see the roots moving and growing and he couldn't help the fascination creeping in.

  
"Soulmates" his teacher had said, once she realized her lesson plans had to change for the day. "I'm sure you have all noticed the seeds on your own body, or the plants and flowers on others'." She continued with a hint of excitement, as if this was her favorite lesson of the year. "Everyone has a soulmate, someone who is meant just for them. These seeds are a representation of that relationship. Once you meet your soulmate your seed will sprout and continue to grow as you both grow together. Are there any questions I can answer for you?"

The children began spouting questions left and right, talking over themselves in their excitement. Kei sat quietly in the corner as a sinking feeling spread through his chest. Their teacher raised her hand to quiet the rest of the class. "One at a time! Remember, indoor voices and wait to be called on."

"When will we meet our soulmate?" A shy little girl asked once the teacher nodded towards her.

"No one knows when the meeting will happen." The teacher smiled at their enthusiasm. "It could be now," she gestures towards the new soulmates "or years from now. The only way to know it happened is to keep an eye on your seeds."

"What flowers will we get?" A little boy called out. She turned around and removed her cardigan, the low cut back of her dress showing off a green shrubby green bush with heart shaped leaves and a mass of pink petaled flowers.

"It can take along time and a lot of work together before your seeds will bloom, and while your seed shape can determine what species you may have your relationship can affect how your flower grows." She spoke over her shoulder. The class stared, attention rapt on the beautiful plant blooming on her shoulder. After she finished replacing her cardigan and the class settled down she asked "Does anyone want to show off their seeds?" Hands shot up as all the students started talking at once again. One by one each student got up to show off their seed placement if possible, or describe it if not.

As each child got up and sat down the sinking feeling in Kei's stomach evolved into a constriction in his just. "What if you don't have a soulmate?" He finally got the nerve to ask.

She laughed, as if she heard that question every year, and she was ready to assuage normal fears. "Everyone has a soulmate." As a blush rose to his face he looked down to conceal the tears threatening to fall from his eyes. "Would you like to show the class your seed?"

"I don't have one" he managed to choke out, voice barely above a whisper.

"What?" She hesitated. "Do you mean you don't know where it is?" The hopeful encouragement made the feeling in his chest squeeze tighter. If only it was that simple.

"I don't have a seed, anywhere!" His shout shocked the rest of the class as they turned to stare at him but Kei couldn't see their expressions. He was too busy running from the room. Looking for a place to finally let the tears fall.

  
Later that evening after dinner and playtime, bath, tooth-brushing and pyjamas, his mother came to tuck him in. He reached out to be enveloped into a hug. His mother's scent helped to calm the ache in his chest from when he first heard the word "soulmate".

"Mom, will I ever have love?" He could feel the slight hesitation in her breath as she squeezed him tighter before pulling away. There was a bright smile on her face that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Is this about school today? And the discussion on seeds?" At his small nod she leaned in as if to impart an intimate secret. "Everything will work out for you. Did you know I don't have a seed?" His wide gold eyes confirmed his ignorance. "You see your father and I love each other very much." A smile softened her face as her eyes became distant. "Despite me not having a soulmate and him having met his, we knew that we wanted to be together. That we were meant for this." She glanced at her son to see him relaxing into her side from the comfort her words brought. "Love is stronger and more unpredictable than seeds. Just because there is no seed on your body, no representation of the love you'll have doesn't mean you won't have or share love with others." She tucked a blond strand behind his ear before kissing his forehead. After turning of his lights she left with a final comfort. "I promise you will find someone you can spend your life with."

  
He pulled those words out often, when the soulmates in his class started wearing gloves to prevent distraction, when the other kids tried to make fun of him for not having a soulmate. He'd find comfort in them when his little five year old heart would tightened with the thought of being alone forever. When the words the children spoke lodged themselves. _No seed, no one for you. What's wrong with you? Nobody to want you? Why should we talk to you? Play with you? You don't deserve a soulmate._ Whenever Kei would begin to retreat into himself he would remember his mother's promise. If she could have love without a seed surely he could as well?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment if you want. I most likely won't reply because anxiety but I promise I'll read.
> 
> Also I have no idea how often I will update. Hopefully I can kick another one out tomorrow. I mean I have the idea of what the next three chapters will be.


	2. Clouds Move In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did you think he was gonna get to grow up full of hope?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never thought I'd be one of those authors apologizing for short chapters but here I am.... not going to apologize.
> 
> I wrote this instead of working.

Tsukishima Kei was six years old when he lost all faith in his mother's words. The tension in his home was thick with angry whispers and shouted recrimations, with flowers blooming across his father's chest. And then his father was gone, without a goodbye, and his mother was crying. It was then he learned that love without a soulmate wasn't real love, it wasn't something you were allowed to keep, it wasn't worth trying to grab and hold on to. And at night when he could hear his mother's muffled sobs he made a new promise to himself, that he wouldn't look for something that clearly didn't exist.

Children are vicious. They hear the words the adults in their life use and they twist them, sharpen them into a weapon to attack any weakness they may see. They were no different to Kei. It didn't take long for them to learn of his shameful family and what was once hurtful but light teasing turned into something meant to tear him down.

"I heard your mother's a whore." Kei glanced at the boy talking to him, noticing the rest of his classmates starting to crowd around, eager to see this new confrontation. "So is it true?" Kei shrugged and looked away from the crowd, and the taller, well-fed boy. "Is it true she tried to steal a good man away from his soulmate? Couldn't find one of her own so she had to take someone else's?" Fists clench and ready to shut up the boy. "I hope you don't get the same idea. You don't get a soulmate, as punishment for what your mom thought she could do. You don't deserve love!" 

He could no longer hide in his mother's word and as tears filled his eyes he swung. As his fist connected with his tormentor's face pain bloomed through his hand. He didn't care as the smirk on the other boys face turned to shock and confusion. He struck again and again, dragging the boy down with all the rage in his little 6 year old body. He didn't know how long he was going before a teacher was pulling him off, his arms flailing and his legs kicking out at the bully. It wasn't until he was shaking in his chair in the office while waiting for his mom that the pain in his chest unclenched and the pain in his hand started to register.

After a trip to the doctor to find out his hand wasn't broken (luckily) and a few days suspension he came back to a class that was avoiding him. _Good, I don't want to know them anyways_. Kei retreated further into himself, perfected a detached and disinterested persona. His words became fewer and fewer while his glare persisted on his face at anyone's approach.

"No one will want you if you're so mean!" The giggling of his classmates no longer bother him.

"Who will want you with that stupid face?" Kei sneers back. He has learned to let the words flow off his back. He doesn't want to disappoint his mother with another fight. He just doesn't see the point in fighting them anymore. 

Bedtime is a silent affair now he can no longer burden her with his worries. He doesn't want to listen to her lies. Even now months after his father has abandoned him he can't get over the betrayal. And though his mother's sobs have quieted there's still an ache in his heart. Before she turns off his light she smiles at him. "I promise you will find someone you can spend your life with." Kei just stared at his mother, expression blank, his entire being swallowed in loneliness from her lie. He sees enough to notice the heartbreak settle across her features before she leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry. I will destroy him before putting him back together.


	3. Stars in the Sky, in Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of happiness in the abyss that is his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 'Guchi, man.

Tsukishima was ten years old when he fell in love for the first time. Maybe that wasn't exactly when it happened but that was when he met him, in passing. 

It was a warm, clear day when Kei saw him at the park, in a situation he was intimately familiar with. He might've kept walking if he hadn't overheard what they were taunting.

"Hey, _Freakles_!. How do you know where your seed is in all that mess of spots?"

"I bet whoever holds his seed wouldn't want to find it, a weakling like him."

"Nah, freak like him, I bet they are all seeds, and none of them want him." _Why did people care so much about seeds?_

"Oh, look, he's crying! What a crybaby." There was a tell-tale sniffle and he couldn't help but walk closer, catch a glimpse of dark hair, dark eyes and freckles. A soft smile lit upon his face. _Cute_. When he noticed that he finally grabbed the bullies' attention the smile turned into a smirk and a laugh.

"Lame" he scoffed and started to walk away.

"Seedless fern!" A laugh escaped his lips, that was a new one. These bullies were getting ridiculous. With a last glance towards the retreating bullies Kei continued walking home. He didn't miss the look of idolization on the freckled face.

The incident was barely a blip in his life and quickly slipped from his memories until a month later when he was face to face with the freckled kid. While he barely remembered that day apparently he made an impression on the other kid, who glowed and gushed about Kei like he was the coolest thing since instant noodles. And the reason he was joining a volleyball club? Adorable.

What started out as a club acquaintance turned into extra practice and hanging out, to coming over and sleeping over, to lunches and inside jokes and a true friendship that Kei had never experienced before. He began opening up to someone, confiding all his insecurities in Yamaguchi Tadashi and helped to protect Yamaguchi from his own.

Kei knew the warmth he was feeling, the joy in experiencing Yamaguchi's smile, the contentedness at simply existing in the same space. He knew what to call this and he was scared. He saw the other boy's seed, a large Wisteria sitting left of his sternum. He's listened countless nights to Yamaguchi's breathless speculations on who his soulmate could be. This much he knew, Yamaguchi was a romantic, Kei found it rather endearing.

He almost ruined it all one day, after practice and play and his mother's dinner, after readying for bed during another sleepover. They were holding hands as Yamaguchi was chattering away again and Kei was just watching his face as it changed and flowed with his story. His feelings overwhelmed him and he couldn't hold on to them anymore.

"I love you." The moment he said those words he tensed up, watching as the other boy stopped, a look of shock on his face. He could feel tears welling up in the silence and tried to remove his hand from their clasp but Yamaguchi wouldn't let go. Dark eyes turned towards his, a smile lighting up the face Kei loved so much.

"I know." Yamaguchi squeezed his hand. "It's okay." The tears spilled from golden eyes.

"Are you sure it's alright." Kei was choking, trying to keep his emotions in. "Is it okay to love you?" The gentle smile he recieved constricted his heart, making it harder to breath through his panic.

"It's not like you can control who you love, right?" A hand squeeze and a heartfelt sigh. "You are allowed to love people, Tsukki. I will never be able to return it the same way, but you can love me." Kei hid his face in his free arm, furiously scrubbing at his face, trying to bring the atmosphere back to normal.

"As long as you stay my friend, Tadashi."

"Bestfriend."

The blond lowered his arm to stare at the ceiling. "I think I'll be okay."

"Good now stop being so sappy, it's kind of creeping me out." Kei's playful shove and Yamaguchi's muffled laughter brought back a sense of normalcy, allowing them to fall asleep, still holding hands, like best friends.


	4. Old Lies and Fireflies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dude can't catch a break

Tsukishima Kei was 13 years old when he lost his love for volleyball, his admiration for his brother and any faith he had that he may be able to keep love.

It was such a stupid lie. And when he caught out his brother all he could feel was humiliation. All the bragging and hero worship disappeared at the shock and fear he found in his brother's eye. But what was worse than the humiliation mirrored there were the tears. But Kei was too lost in himself from the betrayal to comfort Akiteru. He remembered everyday, his brother working hard and training from sun up to sun down. That wasn't enough for him to get a regular spot on a powerhouse team.

Hard work and training cannot make up for natural talent. Loving a sport and loving people cannot make up for the lack of a soulmate. Kei started to withdraw again, into himself and away from the rest of the world. Or at least he tried to. What was the point to any of this if he wouldn't be able to keep it? If he was to try and reach out for something that wasn't meant to be his would all of that get taken away by someone who was just a little better? By someone meant to be in the place that he wanted to stay so bad?

If wanting and working were not enough what did that leave Kei? It would be better not to want, no to work so hard for something he couldn't have. Just shut down the feelings, the want. _Just exist in the world but don't belong, don't find a place for yourself._

Kei pulled away from himself, from his family, from his schoolmates, from his club. He tried to pull away from Yamaguchi but that asshole wouldn't let him. And though it caused a pang in his heart he was glad that at least one person he loved wasn't going to leave him. He went to volleyball practice with Yamaguchi and he went to volleyball matches with Yamaguchi and he went to lunch with Yamaguchi and he still had sleepovers with Yamaguchi. And he may have spoken less than he used to, he may have used his biting sarcasm more, he may have stopped trying but his best friend was still at his side to help him smile. His best friend stayed silent when Kei didn't want to speak, letting his presence be comfort, he would laugh at the sarcasm when directed at other people and apologize when directed at himself, he encouraged Kei to do what he could, when he could, how he could. In the end that was a lot for Kei to ask of him.

They were people watching at his favorite cafe, he was making snide comments about the customers in line, Yamaguchi sniggering along interjecting his own insults. He was eating his favorite strawberry shortcake, something he doesn't fear to love because there is no one to take it away. He glanced over at his friend and the obvious joy the dark haired boy displayed being in his presence caused a soft look to flit across his face. When he catches Yamaguchi's dark eyes watching him he shoves another bite of cake into his mouth and looks away.

"You know, someday someone will want you to look at them like you look at that cake." Kei stiffened at the mention of _someone_.

"I have no idea what you mean or why I would even care." He allowed his face to harden as he tried to block out the emotions this conversation was causing.

"I just want you to be happy, I want you to give people a chance." Yamaguchi made to grab Kei's hand when he pulled away with a scoff.

"Just because you found your soulmate and are so deliriously happy, which I'm beginning to doubt because you won't even tell me who it is, does not mean you can pass judgement on my chosen lack of a love life." That still stung his heart. His best friend would be slipping away sooner than he was ready for. He stabbed another peace of cake for emphasis. "And I'll have you know that plenty of people want me to 'look at them like I do this cake' I'm just not interested in anything that is temporary."

"It doesn't have to be temporary." The look Kei shot his friend could petrify a Cockatrice but Yamaguchi was unfazed. "I'm serious. Shutting yourself off from people is not healthy." He hummed in acknowledgement but not agreement, finishing his cake.

"Whatever, it doesn't mater, I would just be a distraction to kill time. And it's not like I actually want love." _Lie_. "I don't need it," _lie_ , "I can live without it," _lie_ , "and I need you to drop this now." _Before I lose it here in the middle of this cafe._ His chest was aching from the conversation, the pain spreading through his joints, tingling in the tips of his fingers, ears, toes. He wanted nothing more than to get home and curl up in a ball on his bed.

  
That night the words reverberated in Kei's head _"It doesn't have to be temporary"_ , and the ache grew until he could feel nothing through his sobs. His breathing came frantic and labored and choked and he would've done anything in that moment to make it stop.


	5. Some Sunshine Cliche

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The meet-cute

Tsukishima Kei was fifteen years old when he experienced love at first sight. He didn't really think such a thing existed, especially for someone without a soulmate, but there he was. It was early in his first year of high school, he joined volleyball with Yamaguchi, sticking with the club he knew. They were informed that their would be a practice match against the other 2 first years who were joining and he decided to "casually" hunt them down to mess with the. One of the few pleasures in his life.

He saw them first, practicing in the green space. Watched the one he knew as Kageyama Tobio toss a ball for a little red head who must be the other first year. He strode over, catching the volleyball in his hand before the other boy could receive it. He knew his mistake when he those fawn colored eyes, large and doe like, locked onto his. There was a moment there where he couldn't breathe, couldn't remember how. _Cute. How short is this guy? He's got to be at least 20 centimeters smaller._ He smiled with amusement as he held the ball out of the redhead's grasp. _Wow, do you see that hair? Like copper, and looks so fluffy, standing out in all directions without gel. How is he not cold in that t-shirt? Even The King is wearing sleeves, or one arm sleeve under his sweatshirt._ For a moment he even forgot about the other boy there, until he spoke up. Kei did not have to look down to meet the dark blue eyes of Kageyama.

_Ignore the shrimp. Ignore him, ignore him, ignore him._ What was Kageyama saying? What was he saying? Judging by Yamaguchi's sniggers it must be especially mean. Kei's eyes land on the sleeve covering Kageyama's arm to his wrist and he smirked, slipping in one last jab.

"I watched your last game. Amazing, how much control you had, how demanding you could be. I'm surprised your teammates stood it for so long. I'd be surprised if your soulmate could." Kei watched the way Kageyama stiffened, his face shifting for just a moment into something a little like heartbreak. _Wonder what that's about._

"Holy fuck, Tsukki!" Yamaguchi's exclamation echoed in the thick silence that settled on them. He just shoots a lazy smile back at his friend before turning sharp eyes back to The King.

"If you're going to stick the knife in you might as well twist." He taunted. "Our match on Saturday, we have nothing invested in the outcome, it's just a friendly game to us. We can let you win if you want." Kei tossed the volleyball still in his hand high. Before he could even comprehend what was happening a blue of orange flew past him, flew _over_ him as the copper haired boy caught the ball and landed with enough grace to make a swan jealous. He would be embarrassed to admit he may have been just a little awestruck.

"My name is Hinata Shoyo and I'm here, too! And we won't lose to you on Saturday!" _Annoying, he is annoying. Too much energy, too much un-entitled confidence._

Kei was able to regain his composure and hide behind his usual mask of boredom and disdain. He hoped no one saw his disgusting display of emotions. _Hinata_. A few more taunts were thrown out, some posturing and then he and Yamaguchi were walking away. Kei was trying to push away how unsatisfying that was, maybe because all he could remember was fawn brown eyes and copper hair. 

Yamaguchi cast a knowing look at his best friend. "You got it for him bad." Kei tried not to blush, his friend knew him too bad.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't lie! I saw the way you were looking at him. Especially after he jumped right over you. I thought you would propose on the spot."

"Shut up, Yamaguchi."

"Sorry, Tsukki." He absolutely wasn't.


	6. Hope Does Not Bloom Here

Tsukishima Kei, if anyone asked, was not enjoying his Saturday. He was not enjoying the burn in his muscles or the sweat running down his back. He was not enjoying being pushed to his limits just to play a game against someone who clearly had more raw natural talent. Or someones.

Hinata Shoyo clearly had no technique and no idea what exactly he was doing but he was _fast_ and his jump was amazing. His confidence was _annoying,_ he had no right to be so sure of himself! Kei knew from experience, hard work and wishes will get you nowhere. He had no height and no skill and Kei taunted him mercilessly about both, trying to tear the red head apart and out of his mind.

All week the blond was on edge and irritated, his mind frequently betraying him by replaying his brief interaction with the shrimp. He'd catch glimpses of the other boy practicing during lunch and after school and he would lose himself in sensation, his skin tingling and chest constricting and something that felt like panic and despair would tighten in his throat. He was fighting with himself trying to keep from daydreaming. He knew that there was no point to it, that it would only hurt so he held onto the present and tried not to slip. Not that Yamaguchi was making it any easier.

"Well, do you know if he has a soulmate?" His dark haired friend asked on their walk home Friday. Kei made the mistake of actually communicating with his friend the irritation he was feeling this week.

"Of course he has a soulmate, everybody has a soulmate!" _It would be a miracle if he didn't._

"You don't have one." Yamaguchi likes to pretend he's the sensible one. But apparently he's a romantic at heart.

"One in one billion chance. There are maybe 6 other people in this world without a soul mate. How likely do you think it would be someone close to my age who lives nearby? No, he absolutely has a soul mate." It was a sad fact that Kei had come to terms with years ago.

"Well maybe he hasn't met them yet? Maybe you two could have something until then?" There was very little point in explaining just how bad of an idea that was.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I want to be, a placeholder. How long would I have to put my life on hold? It's not like I could plan any future with him in mind. One day he'd meet his soulmate and that would be it for me."

"What about a high school fling? It's not like those are uncommon, even between people who already met their soulmate." The thought of some sort of fling left a bitter taste in Kei's mouth. It's not like he hadn't entertained the thought before but...

"There's a major difference between me and them." A Yamaguchi's questioning gaze he continued. "They know they will someday be with their other half. I don't have one, there's just me. When the fling is over I'll be alone again, what will I do then? Look for another fling? Just my life will be nothing more than a series of flings? I don't think I can go through all that." His voice started to crack from the swirl of emotion starting to overwhelm him. "It hurts too much to even contemplate."

"I'm sorry, Tsukki. I just hate to think of you unhappy." While Yamaguchi looked sincere in his contrition Kei was done with this conversation.

"I'm as happy as I'm allowed to be." He mumbled as he placed his headphones on, effectively shutting his best friend out as they finished their walk in silence.

Needless to say it was a pretty emotional week and Saturday wasn't shaping up any better. It started out nice enough, getting some jabs in at Kageyama, laughing at Hinata (no matter how adorably determined he was looking). He was actually getting into it, volleyball. The King and the Shrimp teamed up, forcing him to work harder than he actually wanted to, simply to save face. But when Hinata hit the "King's Toss" _with his eyes shut,_ he knew he was out matched and out classed. Sure, maybe he could've worked harder, but it felt needless. He knew volleyball was going to be taken from him.

"Nobody can trust someone 100 percent." _No, of course they can't._ "I wonder if they're soulmates." Kei felt like he was kicked in the stomach, thoroughly winded by his captain's words. _That would explain so much._ As he watched the red head arguing with the setter he could feel the next three years would be torturous if that was the case. He was not looking forward to it.


	7. Silver Thorn of Bloody Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama has a soulmate. It doesn't end well.

Tsukishima Kei, if anyone asked, was not enjoying his Tuesday. He did not enjoy the bus trip to Aoba Johsai, noisy with excitement. He did not enjoy watching Hinata vomit from nerves. There was nothing that made him fall out of love faster, he lies to himself. And he really did not enjoy trash talking to the other team with Tanaka, if anyone asked.

_Seijoh_. It is an elites' school, top four in their prefecture, a powerhouse. _Kageyama_ , the only condition they had was that they played against him. As if he was the only player that mattered at Karasuno. _They aren't wrong._ But the look he held on his face for just a moment while clutching at his arm sleeve spoke to something more. It was that heartbroken emotion that Kei had seen once before. Kitagwa Daiichi usually fed into Aoba Johsai, why wasn't he there? Did the mutiny at the prelims mess him up that bad?

Kei didn't want to dwell too long on the King's past and he couldn't torture the little shorty, not when he was already torturing himself. It was pathetic, Hinata was pathetic. How could someone with so much unwarranted confidence just fall apart so easily? It was frustrating and embarrassing. Kageyama and Hinata were both out of sync. With each other and the rest of the team. If it wasn't Hinata, the clumsy nervous wreck running into people and missing balls it was Kageyama, seemingly unfocused between points as he "casually" glances around as if looking for something, or someone. The first set was lost by a truly impressive serve to the back of Kageyama's head by Hinata. The resulting thwack sounded painful and Kei couldn't help calling for tips from Hinata before the next set began. After that extraordinary flub Hinata seemed to settle into business. The second set was flowing smoothly with blocks and receives, spikes and serves. They were miraculously beating the powerhouse school. Karasuno was just a mismatch at this point, missing key positions and low on experience. Even with the duo's weird quick things shouldn't have been this easy.

"I don't think that's their official setter." Oh, yeah that would do it. Would this mysterious setter be enough to elevate the whole team? Is that who Kageyama was looking for?

As if summoned by Kageyama's words and the cries of excited girls. Not as tall as Kei, with a striking presence and charisma just oozing from his smarmy face and posture, Oikawa Toru had a confidence that came from experience, and the knowledge that comes from being one of the best. He disappears to warm up and Kei gets back into the game. Kageyama looks anxious but he's a professional, concentrating on the game at hand.

The third set went much the same way the second. They're at match point, Seijoh nipping at their heels, when Oikawa took the court. He called out Kei, pointing with an arm covered by a sleeve much like Kageyama's. The serve that he received was powerful and hard to control as it flew out of bounds. He was getting frustrated the second time the serve came his way, receiving it with all the technique he had. Still it was not enough. _Is this what the King's serves will be like once he gets a bit more power behind it? There's no way I will be able to keep up._ The third serve felt different as it easily popped back into play, allowing for a breathtaking display of speed by Hinata, spiking the game point right past Oikawa. It was satisfying to watch his eyes widen in surprise.

His vainglorious posturing on their way out was not as satisfying. Kageyama was strangely silent, as if he to was acknowledging Oikawa's superiority. Resentment settled low in Kei's belly, surrounded by players with so much talent that he couldn't hope to overcome, no matter how much he trained. His life was doomed to mediocrity, right now would be a great time to die.

The trip home was pretty uneventful. That is until they were exiting the bus and a commotion from the little orange sun ball.  
  
"You're bleeding! When did you injure your self, Kageyama?" Everybody stopped what they were doing to figure out what was happening with the setter. "It would come off!? Where are you hurt?" Everybody gathered around the first years as Hinata started stripping the arm sleeve off of a protesting Kageyama. Sudden silence fell over the group when his arm was revealed, covered in a thick bramble of thorns and blood drops. "I... What? What's all this?" Hinata voiced everyone's obvious concern.

"My soulmate... he doesn't want me." His reply was quiet, vulnerable in a way Kei knew the setter hated showing to anyone. "This is what I get." Voice shaky. "I guess I'll need to wear a glove now." He shrugs off everyone's worry, replaced the sleeve, shouldered his bag and that was that. Everyone else was left standing, indecipherable thoughts running through there heads.

When Kei got home he ate his dinner in a haze of thoughts running back and forth. What was even the point in having a soulmate if they could just reject you out of hand. If your flower was a projection of your inner feelings, of your developing relationship what kind of turmoil did the thicket of brambles represent? Is it better to not have a soulmate? To know that there is no one out there for you? Better than knowing there is someone meant to be yours, perfect as if they were made to be with you, and that they would rather be alone than be with you?

For once, Kei fell asleep grateful to not have a plant growing on his body.


	8. Love Like Sunflowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does Hinata have a soulmate?

Tsukishima Kei could do without training camp, at least that's what he tells himself. Being stuck in a gym for a week with several loud individuals was not his idea of fun. And sharing a room with the whole team was making him claustrophobic. It didn't help sleeping near a certain ball of literal sunshine. He really should get over this, especially after the revelations from last week's match.

What a match that was. It may have seemed unfair to pit high-schoolers against adults but there was a certain thrill playing with experienced athletes in a low stakes game. There was also something about a group of adults really getting into the game. _Can I have that? Can I find that drive to just play, again? Can I keep it? Can I keep this?_

Predictably they lost against the neighborhood association, but it was not crushing. He could feel the team was still ampt from the match as they cleaned up. It wasn't until later, as they were changing out of their practice clothes that Kei really started to feel the exhaustion from the day. _Do I even want this?_

"No shit Hinata! You've already got laid?" Nishinoya's incredulous voice broke through the the fog of his mind.

"Wha-what!? NO!" Kei looked over to see a furiously blushing back up against the wall flailing his arms in embarrassment. "What are you even talking about?

"But you've got flowers? See!?" Nishinoya grabbed his arm and turned him around revealing a riot of large sunflowers, interspersed with tansies and white fever fews, purple veronicas and delphiniums and white and purple violets blooming across his back. The roots were strong and healthy and the flowers were plentiful. This was a soulmate relationship full of trust and love. It was truly disgusting, Kei turned back to what he was doing so he didn't have to look at the repulsive display. He really was feeling sick to his stomach.

"No! Don't you know anything? You don't need to do _that_ to love each other." Kei could hear Hinata frantically trying to explain as he packed up his bag. "Really! We are too young for that! I am too young for that!"

"Right! Too young. Absolutely! What was I thinking?" Kei didn't miss Nishinoya's glance at Azumane or their twin blushes as he was leaving. Yeah, he could guess what that may mean. He was glad he could escape the soulmate interrogation that always invariably followed such an incident. He could do without that kind of scrutiny right now.

_So he has a soulmate? And by the looks of it he is in love._ Kei scoffed to himself as he walked home. _I knew he had a soulmate, why does in hurt so much to know they've already met?_ He could feel the squeezing in his chest, the pain in his joints. He knew he was headed for another anxiety attack, knew he should stop the spiral of his thoughts, try to get home and to his bed before he lost all sense of himself. _Am I just upset someone my age has met their soulmate? He didn't get rejected like Kageyama. He isn't taking it slow like Yamaguchi. He gets to love, and be loved, there is no hesitation in the plants on his back. Why can't I get that? Why am I not allowed to have something like that, ever? What did I do to deserve this? To know that I will never be loved, not like that?_

Miraculously he made it to his room without incident. He curled up under the covers and tried to keep the tears in. Gasping and gagging for breath as he again felt the pain radiating from his chest, through his limbs, setting aflame his joints while numbing everything else. It took a long time for him to quiet his mind enough to fall asleep. _I guess soulmates are my trigger._

It was a depressing thought. There was very few ways to avoid talk of soulmates without just avoiding everyone. People suck anyways, so it wouldn't be an odorous task, but completely isolating himself to save himself from this heartache seemed really pathetic. III don't know why I care so much.

After that they spent a week of intense practice before and after school, then another week of intense practice for what felt like 24/7. Kei didn't think he was unfit but he was definitely feeling the strain of this practice.

That wasn't to say there weren't quiet moments. The kind of moments where you could catch your breath and enjoy the haze of endorphins that are brought on by training. The chilled spring air felt amazing against sweat dampened skin. During one of those quiet moments Kei found himself alone with Hinata. They were silent for awhile, just soaking in the peace, drinking some water. It was strange to see Hinata so still and Kei was taking advantage of the moment surreptitiously to observe him. He didn't know if _beautiful_ was the word to use to describe him. Sure, his ginger curls where shining like a halo in the afternoon sun, as orange as the flowers. And his pale skin and delicate shape made him look almost ethereal. But beautiful was not the word. Maybe there were no words to exactly describe him. _Maybe I'm just a sap._ He was startled from his musings when Hinata asked an unexpected question.

"Is Yamaguchi your soulmate?" Kei froze at the mention of soulmates, tried to keep his features bland, but something must have broke through because the redhead start flailing is arms apologetically, clearly expecting an attack. "It's just that you guys are so close and seem to have known each other for awhile and I've seen his wisteria and it's growing well so I know he knows his soulmate and that their relationship is strong." He paused in the middle of his rant, catching a breath. "So I just figured, you know. And you always seem to disappear when people start talking about soulmates." Kei's glare of annoyance was easy to interpret, _why didn't you ask Yamaguchi._ "Yamaguchi is pretty silent on who his soulmate is, or really anything about them."

There was a defeated sigh from the blond. "Yamaguchi won't even tell me who they are. I don't know their name, or their gender, or what they look like, or their personality. The only thing I know is that they're older, enough of a gap that it took them a little bit to figure out they were soulmates and that they are taking things extremely slow because the age difference right now makes a romantic relationship just a little strange."

"Oh," Hinata looked thoughtful, "I guess that makes sense. Have you met your soulmate yet?" Kei quickly stood up with a click of his tongue and left. Not even looking back as Hinata called to him.

That night with snores filling the silence around him Kei wondered what a love like sunflowers would feel like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm 4 kudos away from 100 and less than 20 hits away from 1000. Thank you so much!


	9. Filler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a filler chapter, nothing to see here.

Tsukishima Kei. Just Tsukishima Kei. This match was going to be the death of him. No, this boy was going to be the death of him. Hinata Shoyo always put maximum effort into everything he did. It just seemed so exhausting. Just when Kei thought Hinata would break, about the time Kei, himself fell for the setter's feint, he asked for "one more." Always "one more." And threw himself into finding a way past the blocker.

That kind of tenacity Kei could not understand. For someone who had been ready to give up since he was a small child and knew there was nothing, no point in even trying, seeing someone who just won't give up until they grasp everything they desired. It was annoying. Frustrating. Who continues to throw themselves against every wall they encounter? _Doesn't he realize how pointless it is? "One more, one more, one more." Why would anyone ask for more punishment?_

Hinata made him want to try, want to reach for something he knew he didn't deserve. That it could be possible to have everything, if you work hard enough. Jump high enough. It was torture, pure exhaustion and he didn't think he would be able to stand the disappointment when everything inevitably fell apart.

Then there was this rooster-headed fuck. Smirking at him, following him with those eyes that see too much. Full of controlled, confident, energy. Not the brash, bravado of Hinata, something more definite, with the experience to back it up. His enthusiasm was almost as annoying as the red head's. And his obvious interest was unwelcome.

The day ended after three matches, lost in straight sets. Kei couldn't remember the last time he was this bone weary. At least from exertion. He just wanted to go home and collapse, sleep for the next few weeks or until the Inter-High Prelims. But no, he had school, and practice, practice practice. And _bonding_.

Sure, club activities preclude interacting with people, and while Kei wasn't opposed to people in general the team was filled with people designed specifically to try his patience. Including Nishi-I don't do subtle-noya. It was another quiet moment between practice where he was resting, next to his annoying _senpai_ and the guy just would not shut up. In particular he seemed to be determined to discuss soulmates. _To what purpose?_

"It's still so wild how Hinata has a soulmate, you know? Or I mean how he has that kind of soulmate relationship, so early. He just doesn't seem like the kind but I guess he does seem to put 110% into everything he does so I guess this would've been no different. But those flowers. I'm sort of jealous. I had a nice drift of impatiens growing." Nishinoya kinda stumbled a bit here. "But they don't like the cold... So they're kind of a bunch of green spindley stalks right now. But there's some new green coming in now that we are back on track. It could be worse." With that he glanced at Kageyama. "I know he can be kind of intense but he seems nice enough, at least he's trying. I wonder who it is that rejected him." _Like it wasn't completely obvious who it was._ Fiddling with his water bottle he took another look at Kei. "By the way, You and Yamaguchi have known each other for a while, yeah? I've seen his seed, you guys seem to be developing really slow, given how much time you've known each other, and how friendly you are with him."

Nishinoya was distracted from his non-stop soliloquy by a choking Kei. "Are you okay?" He asks with some concern while slapping the tall blond one his back. "Did you get some down the wrong way?"

"I'm fine." Kei quickly recovered while packing up his gear and heading back to the court for more practice. If only to avoid anymore of this uncomfortable subject. "I'm not Yamaguchi's soulmate." He left a slightly embarrassed libero behind.

_Why is everyone so focused on soulmates all the time? And how can I get away without explaining my situation to this group?_ If there's one thing he didn't want his teammates to know if was that. He could handle him disliking him due to the fact that he was an asshole. But the disgust people show him when they find out he doesn't have a soulmate would be unbearable in a team environment. Or worse they could actually _care._ And it's not like he does.

He could feel his thoughts start to spiral and echo in his head, over and over. Vision blurred and hazy, he could hear ragged breathing and someone calling his name from far away as he gasped for air, trying to draw breath through the tightening in his chest. _Panic attack._ He couldn't think beyond crouching down from where he stood, trying desperately not to lose it more than he already has in front of everyone.

The worst part wasn't the humiliation or the inability to draw a decent lungful, but the pain the was closing his throat and clawing it's way through his body. He barely registered the gentle grip grasping his hand or the soothing voice instructing him to breath. _Yamguchi_? It wouldn't be strange to think it was his best friend who was helping him right now as he has helped Kei through these attacks numerous times.

"That's right, just breath, in-2-3, out-2-3." But that wasn't his friend's voice. "It'll be okay, in-2-3 out-2-3." Kei raised his head to find brilliant tawny eyes gazing back at him. Frantically fighting back a blush he looked around at his teammates who had gathered in concern.

"Thank you Hinata." A little breathless whisper, he cleared his throat and raised his voice. "I'm better now."

"If you're sure." The warmth that was starting to radiate from their clasped hands dissipated when Hinata let go, much to Kei's dismay. "Let's get back to practice."

High school was turning out to be more trouble than he originally thought. He had hoped he could keep his head down. Avoid any hopeless romantic entanglements and graduate with decent grades. It appeared that life would not be so kind to him.

  
Kei spent the rest of practice in the club room trying to calm down. Surprisingly Hinata was the first one done. The redhead crouched down near the emotionally exhausted boy without saying a word, letting his presence comfort the blond. Kei let out a sigh. _I suppose I'll have to give him something._

"It seems like everyone wants to know more about soulmates in high school." Hinata was still and silent for once, allowing Kei time to choose what words he wanted to speak. "I know a lot of people meet theirs during high school. But there are plenty of people who don't meet theirs until later on in life." There was confusion on Hinata's face, clearly who had no idea where this was going. "My dad didn't meet his until I was six, when he left us."

"What about your mom?" Glasses flashed as he turned his head to the shrimp crouched next to him. 

"She doesn't have a soulmate." Kei began to fiddle with his hands, a habit he formed after meeting Yamaguchi.

"I didn't know that was possible, doesn't everyone have a soulmate?" Shoulders sagging he stopped fiddling and stared dejectedly at the floor.

"It happens sometimes, you know? It's unreasonable to expect everyone to have someone."

"So did she find someone to love her again? Maybe someone who lost theirs?" At these innocently hopeful words Kei's mouth hardened.

"When I was eleven. She was so happy in love. I didn't remember the last time I'd seen her smile like that. He seemed nice enough." He shrugs, "but you guys seem to think that love not between soulmates isn't real love. He threw her away because 'what's the point if it isn't real.' I think she stopped trying after that, for my sake. She hopes that I'll try despite all her failures." He sat there in the unaccustomed silence for a few minutes before Hinata spoke.

"I'm sorry your mom has had it rough. But I promise one day you will find your soulmate, and they will love you."

_Please don't lie to me._


	10. Save the Pity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kei's not the only one feeling vulnerable.

Tsukishima Kei was going to kill Yamaguchi. And Hinata. And the rest of his teammates. They may think he didn't notice. Sure, they may not have known him that long, barring Yamaguchi, but did he come off as oblivious? Unperceptive? Spacey? Really, he could tell that they've been walking on eggshells after his spectacular breakdown. He noticed the sudden absence of the dreaded "S" word. He noticed how those who have obviously met their soulmate were now mindful to cover the evidence when changing. He noticed how gently everyone was talking to him. Everyone but Kageyama, at least. If there was one blessing in all this it would be that the "genius" setter was still an unrelenting asshole. Not that Kei wasn't also one right back.

He was also thankful that no one has figured out that he was seedless. He didn't think he could bear with their pity. And he now knew that pity was what he would receive. This was embarrassing. They were acting as if he was _vulnerable_ , _fragile_ , putting more stress on him. The only one that was acting "normal" was Kageyama and Kei was feeling so frustrated that he continuously lashed out at the only person who would react. It was clear during the short training time before the Inter-High that the team was falling apart and it all pivoted around Kei. If things kept going this way he would be benched. And while he always knew that it would happen eventually he desperately wanted to keep playing. If only to give him something to focus on.

It all came to a head a few days before the tournament. Kei was feeling on edge again as the coddling continued. And he was missing all of Kageyama's tosses during a 3-on-3. Kageyama was taking the opportunity to really lay into him, making off hand comments about how weak Kei was, how he needed to be treated with care because he was so fragile.

"That is enough, Kageyama!" Daichi's stern warning barely fazed "his majesty".

"Look at them, you have them so scared you will just fall apart again. Just going to hang back and not even try?" His words held a sting of venom. "Do you really think you'll get anywhere doing the bare minimum?"

Kei just stood their, trying to let his words wash over him. Trying to not care how everyone was gathering around. Everyone trying to calm Kageyama's words, trying to prevent another breakdown. Trying so hard as if Kei was too fragile to not completely fall apart. He gathered himself and raised his head with signature smirk in place. He thanked the gods that he could look down on the dark haired setter as he shrugged as if he didn't have a care for any of the bullshit.

"It's working for me so far. But for you? How's it working for you? Trying so hard and still not good enough?" An exaggerated glance at his covered arm made it perfectly clear what he was referring to. "If _you_ think I'm being coddled it's clear it's because people actually care about me." And while the blond was clearly having fun provoking the other boy he was not prepare for the fist that came flying at his face. Static filled his ears as he tried to make sense of the pain as it blossomed from his cheek. He was vaguely aware of his other teammates crying out but he was too concerned with the navy-eyed teen that was currently grabbing him by the collar, intent on murder.  
  
It took less than a minute before coach Ukai was helping their captain pull the two apart and they were told to sit out. They were placed on opposite sides of the gym. Kei could feel the annoyance that roiled off of Kageyama as he glared at everyone with a scowl. Clearly he didn't blame himself for this predicament. After practice was done they were forced to clean up in punishment, Hinata volunteering to stay behind to help. 

"What happened between you two today?" Kei glanced at the red-headed crow scolding them. "I mean I know you both butt heads all the time but today was something else." Kageyama was looking away, hand on neck, possibly thinking up an excuse for all of this. "We are a team guys, we can't get to nationals if you guys are falling apart like this.

With an aggrieved sigh Kei muttered a soft apology and started fiddling with his fingers again. "I'm sorry... I just, I can't take the way the team is treating me right now." He avoids eye contact with the others and tries to school his face into a bland expression, fighting off an embarrassed blush. "I'm not going to break."

"Why'd you not say anything?"

"Would you guys have listened? You're all walking around as if on eggshells, like you're afraid of setting me off. The only one who's acting relatively _normal_ is his majesty here."

Hinata's focus silver quick locks onto Kageyama, who shifted back from the intensity. "And you? Why are _you_ being such a jack hole? We agreed as a team! We weren't going to do anything to antagonize him!"

"It's not right!" Kageyama's expression was as severe as ever. "What you guys are doing. You think he wants your concern? You think he actually cares? What even is his deal? How could he be so _weak_? Look at him, he is unbreakable! Why does everyone worry so much about _his_ feelings on soulmates. Why does _he_ get to fall apart? Why do I just have to accept that this is the way things are? Why do I have to be _strong_? Why am I not-" His voice rose with every word that was rushing out of his mouth until it cracked and the rest came out on a strangled sob "allowed to fall apart?" He wasn't crying. He probably had too much pride for that but the vulnerability he was showing at that moment was making Kei feel awkward. He didn't like it when he was falling apart, it was even more unpleasant to watch someone else.

Hinata on the other hand didn't miss a beat as he pulled the king into a hug. "Who ever told you that you couldn't cry?" Kageyama's voice was muffled against Hinata's shoulder but it was clear he was saying something like "I'm not crying."

The intimacy of the moment was not something that made Kei comfortable. He edged his way towards the door hoping to get away unnoticed. That hope was dashed when an arm shot out and he was pulled into Hinata's embrace.

"Look you two," Hinata mumbles into the blond giant's chest, "we need you to work this out. We can't win without both of you." Both Kageyama and Kei nod as the redhead let them go. Both avoiding eye contact as much as possible shuffle their way out the door to head home.

_The Inter-High_. Did Hinata really care about them, _him_ , or was he just worried about his team being whole? At least whole enough to go to Nationals? He knew how much the little crow wanted to win, how far his unrealistic dream stretched. And he knew he would do what he had to to help make that dream real. Even if he had to play nice with the asshole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So do you ever begin writing a chapter, with no clue what it's even going to be about? Because my next planned plot point actually isn't for another chapter or two. I was going to write fluff I swear, this just did not go the way I expected because I hate soulmates, they suck. Because love sucks, because PEOPLE suck.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this installment.


	11. Bonding With the Asshole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima and Kageyama friendship?

Tsukishima Kei was not heartbroken over some tournament he knew they weren't going to win. Out of everyone here crying into their food was he the only one who had any realistic expectations for how this match would play out? Sure, they worked so hard training before the tournament. Sure, they played just as hard to overcome their first two matches. But in the end he knew. There was no doubt in his mind that they would not be able to beat a team of Seijou's caliber, or Oikawa. Not that he didn't try.

The loss hit the team hard. Being possibly the last tournament for the 3rd years, the undeniable work and skill displayed by the second years and all of the first years having tried their best. But it was just not _enough_. Kageyama, by far, was taking it the hardest. It was hard to miss the taunting and veiled insults Oikawa threw his way all game, the absolute loathing and antipathy in his sorrel eyes. It didn't take an empath to tell that it was getting to Kageyama and by the end of the game his sleeve couldn't hide the growing thorns and blood drops covering his hand.

Since that match any spare time Kageyama had was spent at the gym "training". Kei knew it was a matter of time before he burned out, or experienced a mental break. He could only guess how much that defeat was eating at him. It wasn't long before the blond found him, tucked away in a quiet corner where no one would find him. He wasn't searching for him, he wasn't _worried_ for him. He just happened to be in the same place at the same time when he decided to take a seat right next to the black haired setter whose blue eyes were staring off into nothing. They sat there in silence for several minutes before Kei, ever the people person, gave a sigh a spoke.

"So how about them Dolphins?" He could feel Kageyama's eyes focus on him in confusion.

"Did you hit your head or something? Is this a prank? Do you need help? Because I'm not sure I'm qualified for the help you need?" His face was the picture of bafflement and Kei was mentally kicking himself for opening with a total non-sequitur.

"I honestly have no idea where that came from. You just looked like you had something on your mind and while I don't particularly _care_ I thought I maybe you wanted to talk? Maybe?" The blond starts fiddling with his hands while staring off into the distance, away from the other's face. "Look, I'm not really good at this." Kageyama lifts his shoulder in a halfhearted shrug.

"Neither am I." He exhaled forcefully as he relaxed against the wall. "I was just thinking" He lifted his hand, turning it this way and that, as if examining the tangled brier twisted there. "Have you ever loved someone?" Kei briefly hesitated before he answered.

"Why?"

"Just, I know you and Yamaguchi are soulmates, right? And you seem to have a good relationship going. And I'm not completely blind, I've seen the matching plants on Asahi and Nishinoya and they have-" Here he waves his arms around vaguely "chemistry, or whatever. And don't get me started on Hinata." Kei didn't miss the softening of his expression when he brought up their resident ball of orange fluff. "Although I don't blame anyone for falling for him." He blushes when he meets Kei's eyes "Do you think it's okay to love someone who isn't your soulmate? Is it okay to love other people even if you love your soulmate? Is it okay to give up on your soulmate? Do you think I should ignore this distraction? Push it away and focus on volleyball like I usually do?" Kageyama seemed almost lost.

"Someone I fell in love with once told me that it's okay to love people, as long as you expect nothing back from them." Kei gave a dejected huff. "Yamaguchi met his soulmate not long after he met me. Although he kept it hidden for a while."

"But I thought you were-?"

"Just good friends." A smirk and a shrug. "I don't actually have a soulmate, never did." A moment of shocked silence.

"Is that why-?"

"I break down whenever soulmates are mentioned? Maybe?" He shifted nervously "It's hard to tell sometimes. I just don't like the thought that I am absolutely alone and it's always going to be that way." A soft, heartbroken smile lit upon Kageyama's face.

"I think I can understand."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo..... November really sucked, and December is not shaping up to be much better. But I was able to finally get this pathetic chapter out and I've already have half the dialogue for the next chapter written, which is scary because I don't have many conversations in my day to day life so I'm actually not sure how they're supposed to go. I'm kind of excited, it's the obligatory study "date" so get ready for some FLUFF and gentle pining.


	12. Moonlit Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obligatory study "date"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, have some fluff.

Tsukishima Kei was coming to terms with the fact that he fell in love with an idiot. An idiot with an unnatural obsession and talent in volleyball, sure, but an idiot all the same. He inferred entire sentences from one word, like one of those psychological tests. Judging by his word association he seemed a little violent. Maybe unhinged. Or he was just a moron. He had no memorization to speak of. And it was increasingly obvious that he just couldn't sit still long enough to soak anything in.

If it wasn't for Yamaguchi, volunteering his time before and after club, he wouldn't even be in this situation. Not only was he currently sitting too close to the only person he was hopelessly pining for, he's also stuck trying to teach that dumbass's braindead friend. Sure, Kageyama seemed like he'd be the smart one in that relationship but it is clear that they share a single brain cell. And Hinata currently has custody. Maybe tutoring was not his strong suit. Short on time, short on patience, he was just about ready to wrap up this session.

When they came to him outside the agreed-upon hours he glared at them while slipping on his headphones. He wasn't about to waste his lunchtime on the torture that was teaching them. Besides, too much contact with direct sunlight was bad for his health and heart. Though the thought of not having Hinata with them at training camp did sadden him for a moment, he really couldn't be blamed for wanting to keep his sanity intact for a few more hours.

At least he didn't have to worry too much about not helping. Yamaguchi informed him that they found a substitute in that girl that their manager brought in. Frankly, she didn't seem like she had the constitution to deal with the nitwits. But in the end, he was proven wrong when Hinata was excitedly telling their potential manager how he'd gotten one-third of the answers correct.

Of course, Kei had to tease him about being proud of thirty-three percent but deep down he was kind of proud. And the enthusiasm Hinata showed for actually being able to do it was beautiful. He was charmed, smitten, and maybe just a little jealous.

Kei wouldn't call himself competitive, but if Yachi could help Hinata hold some of the knowledge in that volleyball brain of his there was no way he couldn't at least try. And so he found himself continuing to offer his help.

"How did you get so good at English?" Hinata was clearly trying to procrastinate. Maybe a short break to let his mind recover from overload.

"I read." Short answers always served best.

"Oh, what do you read?"

"A lot." A nice dry answer that gave away very little information. The look of consternation Hinata shot him with made his lips twitch. "I started with children's books, you know, learn the language the way they do."

"That's so cool! Are there any you would recommend?" Kei glanced at him, considering.

"For you? I would start with Chika Chika Boom Boom. You could practice reading it to your sister. It teaches the alphabet and uses very small words that your peabrain might even be able to understand." Hinata appeared slightly insulted. "The only problem I had with it is that they tried to rhyme aunts with pants. I died a little every time that line came up."

"Wait, those don't rhyme?" Kei slanted him a glance of disappointment. Couldn't he _hear_ the difference?

"No."

"But-"

"It's like trying to rhyme Kei with hai..."

"Oh." 

"Now you might want to get back to work. Your cutting into my time here." For a few minutes, the sound of pencil scratching on paper filled the study space between them. He seemed to be working diligently before pausing and looking up with confusion in his ochre eyes.

"What color is the pink panther?"

And Kei was lost, in a fantasy. He never thought he would be a romantic but here he was, dreaming of a moonlit night where the only other source of light was this boy and his smile. He could just imagine running his fingers through that copper hair, how soft and fluffy it must be. Cupping that impish face in his hand and leaning in and here his imagination short circuits a little. Kei has never kissed another person on the lips before. What would _that_ be like? Soft, slow, sweet, Hinata would smile into the kiss. There's no way he would be able to contain that, and maybe Kei would pull away and smile back while gently resting their foreheads together. He believed he could be deliriously happy just like that, breathing the same air as Hinata, taking in his scent and taste and stunning smile.

"Panthers are black, dumbass." And just like that, Kageyama's blunt voice broke through whatever musings Kei was about to fall into, pulling him back to earth, this room, these morons.

"You both are impossible." He dismissed them while packing up his bag. "And that is all the time I have for you today." How was he going to handle this for another month, for the duration of training camp, for the next three years? Maybe he should just quit, run away, stop dreaming.

That night he couldn't bring himself to stop the dream. He basked in the warm glow of it, in the small hope that burned in his chest that maybe something like that could be his. A little sun in the moonlit, soft kisses, warm bodies, and a happiness that he could hold onto.

**Author's Note:**

> So I don't have a ko-fi or patreon. I do have an eBay store, I mainly sell stuffed animals. So if you would like to support me and my day job I would be happy if you could check it out.
> 
> [Please, check it out!](https://www.ebay.com/str/fancyfawns)


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